My Jesus Makes House Calls

Girlfriend to Girlfriend, I have something I must confess.  I blew it.  Just as I thought this would be an extraordinary, God-filled kind of day, as my senses were filled with the wonderful aroma of Caramel Starbucks coffee brewing in my kitchen, I totally blew it.  You see, I had not yet taken the time to get into God's word this morning, (mistake # 1) and I thought I would just quickly send an important email before I sat down with Bible in hand to "officially" begin my day once the kids were off to school when IT happened.  My husband made a sarcastic comment to me about what I was doing on the computer when I probably should have been taking the time to visit with him before he had to leave for work (mistake # 2.)   


Now normally I can hold my tongue pretty well when faced with a potential confrontation by the Grace of God alone, BUT this morning was different.  I was still recovering from spending an entire weekend with 15 teenagers from our youth group as we traveled 8 hours in a bus to TN for a conference AND BACK.  I ate way too much and slept way too little while on this trip, and I was behind in my work this morning and tired at that.  Well let's just say I lost my "cool" as my two older kids would say.  I said some things that I should not have said...I said some things that hurt.  BUT JESUS...If I did not show him the error of his ways, then who would? BUT JESUS...didn't he need to know how he had been making me feel lately with his cynical remarks and his criticisms?  "Maybe if you were getting in God's Word more, we would not be having this argument!"  (Did I say THAT to him?)  Well, I immediately knew I had said too much as I looked at the hurt in his eyes before he turned and walked away to finish getting ready for work.


Ok Jesus I blew it, BUT JESUS didn't he need to hear some constructive criticism for the sake of love?  Jesus immediately reminded me that He came to die for us WHILE we were yet sinners (Romans 5:8) simply because of His love for us!  THAT is unconditional love, and that is the last thing I showed my husband today!


So I did what any respectable woman would do...I retreated to my favorite brown chair faded by years of praying and Bible reading as I cried my eyes out like a toddler who skinned his knee only I had skinned the heart of someone I love dearly.  I cried out to my Jesus to forgive me, and he whispered into the ear of my soul "My child I have already forgiven you when I hung on the cross for you."  I knew I also had to ask for forgiveness.  Only then would I be set free from the guilt of my lack of self-control.  "But Jesus, he was ugly to me, and he does not appreciate me"....I do not know if I CAN ask for forgiveness now anyway. 


"God," I prayed out loud yet in a whisper, "I need to hear from you now."  Just then the phone rang, and I decided to answer (this might be my way out of asking my husband to forgive me and embarrassing myself even more I thought) and my sweet Christian friend was on the other line.  She told me she hated to call so early, but she had something important that she had to share with me that God had so clearly revealed to her.  She continued to explain how God's Word shared by Beth Moore so perfectly related to a painful, personal experience she was facing right now.  I tried my best to focus on her words knowing my thoughts and mind were selfishly on my own circumstance.  She continued to explain to me that God reminded her that we must ALL forgive one another even if we are wronged, or bitterness will set in and we shall never be free otherwise!  Yikes, did I hear her correctly?  Forgiveness...free...bitterness?  These were the exact words I heard Jesus speak to my heart only moments earlier.  My Jesus makes house calls when needed.  I began to cry as I knew what I had to do.


Yes, I did ask my dear hubby to forgive me and my harsh words because I knew only then would I be set free from this guilt.  This morning could have ended much differently.  I tend to keep things inside when I am hurt and especially if I am wrong at that.  So if Jesus had not decided to use my precious Sister-in-Christ to make a "house call" to me to confirm the words He whispered in my soul just moments earlier I likely would not have asked for forgiveness.  I may have harbored those feelings all day and the outcome would have been much different!


Thank you Lord for hearing my every prayer no matter how small.  Thank you for nudging me to make a wrong a right, and for reminding me that as a child of God we are called to be different...we are called to FORGIVE just as you forgive us.  Thank you also for the undeserved blessings as a result of  being obedient to you, and thank you for making house calls even to unworthy me!


Lord, help me to be quick to forgive a wrong and slow to remember the same. 


Is there someone you need to forgive today?  Do you need to ask for forgiveness yourself?  In order to be truly free in Christ and free to do what He calls us to do we must not only learn to forgive, but also to be eager to ask for forgiveness.


Mark 11:25 (NKJ) reminds us "and whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive  him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses."

Mat 6:12 (TEB) "Forgive us the wrongs that we have done, as we forgive the wrongs others have done us.